22 July 2012

Marriage + College

"When do you graduate?"
"I'm not sure, sometime next year."
"Oh.  But you're getting married!  Why?  How?"

So many people like to ask why I'm getting married before I graduate college.  Like this is something awful.  Well, it's not ideal, but it's not awful or impossible.  

Technically, though, I was supposed to graduate May 6, 2012.  The wedding date was booked with the Church and the Officiant thinking that I would have just over a month after graduation to deal with the little details before we would tie the knot on June 16.  However, everything was booked long before I knew that I would be graduating a few semesters later than planned.  To catch up to speed on the rough end of 2011 physically, mentally, and emotionally, read this.

Conversations
When I found out that I wouldn't be graduating this past May, Duncan and I had quite a few conversations.  I did a lot of praying.  He wasn't thrilled about the idea of me being in school during our first year of marriage.  I didn't think it'd be any different than me working, to be honest.  Plus, he's gone 50-60 hours a week and I really only see him on the weekends anyways.  That would not change.  He also goes out of town at least once a month, and does a lot of auditing of stores in Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, Louisiana, Minnesota, and Florida -- sometimes all by himself!

Anyways, even though he wasn't thrilled, he has always been very supportive.  Through all this, he has been concerned about me, how I am doing, and what is best for me.  And I think now he realizes what's best for us and our first year of marriage is not that I am not still in school, but that I'm doing my best for myself so that I can do my best for him, our marriage, and our family.

Smiling Responses
Duncan and I are very much at peace with the decision to not postpone the wedding.  We both are committed to each other now and know that's not going to change.  What would be the difference of postponing until after I graduate, especially when everything's planned?  I have the whole summer off from school to have several months of stress-free living!  Guys, I haven't had a whole summer off since..... the summer before my senior year in high school!  Man, I feel old thinking about that.  I've always been go-go-going since I graduated high school.  So I feel like it is such a blessing to have the summer to begin our marriage right.  God has plans for him, He has plans for me, and He has plans for us.  I see all God's graces for us daily and I just feel so blessed.

So, when people ask about how "it's going to work," I smile and tell them we have a plan, we know what we're doing, and we're not worried in the least.  It's going to work perfectly for us.  Duncan makes enough money to support us, he has health benefits, he has car insurance, he has positivity, a great sense of humor, and trust in God.  My parents have always been a rock in my life -- and now in our life -- and are fully supportive and ready to help.

Duncan has never made me feel like by not graduating on time I was worthless or not able to contribute (something I struggled immensely last fall when I found out).  He always reminded me that I was still plenty important in what I'm doing, even if I'm not yet a registered nurse, and he always reminds that he's proud of me and grateful to have me.  Plus, he loves that I'm blogging!  

Lastly, I see all these nursing students who are already married and I see these bloggers who are married and in college (first degree or second degree) so I don't feel like we're the black sheep at all.  God has continued to bless us, so I know we're doing what we're supposed to be doing.  We have faith in Him and in our relationship and future marriage.  That's all that matters.  =)

As far as babies and starting a family... well, that's a different post!

Have you ever had your life plan change?
Did you roll with the punches?

9 comments:

  1. Visiting from A Content Housewife, and I love this post. How great that you knew what worked for y'all and stuck to it! Definitely a new follower!

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    1. Thanks, Allyson! It's nice to meet you =)

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  2. I love that you rely on Jesus to guide you and get you through trying times. Good for you! Just because things don't always work out the way we want them to doesn't mean they aren't working out the way God wants them to.

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    1. I couldn't agree more! 2011 was a big slap in the face in many ways. I learned to really stop and listen to what God was saying and even though it changed plans and felt like "everything was ending" at the time, in retrospect everything happened the way it needed to for me.

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  3. OMG thank you! People are on me all the time about getting married before I graduate. It's actually comforting to know that someone else experiences all the questions.

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    1. Oh, I definitely do. Mainly by older adults. But I'm used to it now. Especially since it seems like there are so many strong married women in college -- first time or second time! And even if it wasn't the best idea, it's a learning experience. But being with your best friend and having someone to lean on is always better than not, even in those learning experiences.

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  4. I don't think it's a horrible thing to get married before you graduate! You just know exactly what you want! :)

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  5. Plans change so often! You definitely just have to go with what you're given, and I think it's a great decision to get married in college! I mean, if you've already decided that you want to be together for the rest of your life, you might as well get married so that you can spend all that time together!
    I got married in college...during the first semester of my Junior year...one week before final exams started. And I finished that semester, and three more after that, easily. School will keep you busy, especially with the responsbilities of being a new wife, but honestly I think school is more fun than work. But that's probably just me...
    Anyways, my husband and I think going to school and being married go together so well that now that I'm finally done, he's going to start his master's degree--I am a little nervous about this one!

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xo, amy