15 March 2012

Secrets

In honor of Ashley from After Nine to Five's decision to open up her life on her Internet journal, I decided to do the same, but in a different way.  She talks about a secret each day.  Well, since it's Thursday and I've missed three already, I think I'm going to shorten up the discussions and list a few.

I'm not sure how much of them are secrets, though!  I've talked about some of them before.  But since this is my little journal, I did want to share with you.  Because, hey, we all have secrets!

One.  My biggest (and only regret) in life is that I am not a virgin and that I didn't wait for my husband.  I know my Lord has forgiven me, but sometimes, it really makes me sad that I can't be that for Duncan.  I know, I know, I need to get over it.

Two.  I have an atypical clinical depression and have been receiving both psychological and psychiatric help.

Three.  When I was in middle school transitioning to high school, I had anorexia nervosa for over a year.

Four.  The Deacon who met with Duncan and I for three one-hour sessions for marriage prep expressed "concerns" to the Priest marrying us.  The Priest called me and discussed this with me for twenty minutes.  I told Duncan and a good friend of mine, and they both think that it's because Deacon didn't (a) get a good "feel" for me/us and (b) didn't really understand the questions I had asked him.  It's been incredibly disheartening for me and us.  I worry that they won't marry us now, but my friend (who is of the same faith) asserts me that they cannot do that.  Duncan said he would talk to them, and I have decided that I am now just going to tell them what they want to hear instead of being honest and asking questions that I would like answered (isn't that what you're supposed to do??  I didn't say anything against the faith).  Obviously, I'm still pretty upset.

Five.  I met and spoke multiple times with recruits to enlist in the military after I graduate.  But, after much discussion with Duncan and prayers, this is not something that I am going to pursue.

I hope that you are all doing well!

9 comments:

  1. I can't imagine how hard number 4 is - that's got to be so tough! But I am so happy you've grown and are continuing to improve from your past struggles.

    Thanks so much for sharing with us this week, Amy :)

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  2. I converted to Catholicism and the first time I went through RCIA they didn't let me confirm. They told me that "I wasn't ready" and I cried for days. The boyfriend is Baptist and we don't really talk about the details of marriage much but we do know that we want to be together. When we think about where and when the first and only thing we end up talking about is where and which church. I can't imagine how stressful and tough this is for you. Know that you both are in my prayers! I know good things will come!
    -Anna
    asweetsouthernmess.blogspot.com

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  3. i love that you had the strength to post all these. that says a lot of great things about you :)

    and in regards to #4, just know that GOD put you and Duncan together, and when you two get married, He will support it. even if your deacon doesn't. and honestly, there's nothing wrong with asking questions-but i've learned too, that with some people in the church (like my own deacon when i was getting confirmed) they have a different attitude about things. personally, i wish they didn't (there's nothing wrong with trying to learn more about your faith) but c'est la vie, right? i'll be praying though that this situation gets fixed and you two will be incredibly happy on your wedding day :)

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  4. Wow lady your honesty is amazing. I can't say I've experienced any of these situations but I really appreciate the fact that you're able to discuss it. As for the fourth point, don't let it discourage it. I'm sure it was incredibly hard to hear and I know that you must really respect this man's opinion but the only people who can really know if you're meant to be is the two of you. xoxo

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  5. This was truly an amazing post to read.. All things can't and wont be happy / perfect in life, there are also downsides. And we all have secrets, big or smaller ones.
    I hope all goes better in the future with the church. I've never faced anything like that you two have, I belong to lutheran (can't spell it in english) church.. But I have heard about some (many) injustice and prejudice, around here aswell. I wish you two all the best and you'll get happily married, you so deserve it ♥

    If joining the military is something you want to do in your life, I think it's something you should do. But in general, hehe I think war is pointless and such.. :) Don't really have any strong opinions though.

    I hope my true thoughts came true, english isn't my first language and I don't want to sound offensive or anything like that by accident. Just sending you a huge hug.

    Satu
    - Indie by Heart

    Join Birthday Giveaway. :)

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  6. Amy, thank you so much for your honesty! This is a great post! As someone who works for the Church I am curious as to what concerns they could possibly have about YOU and Duncan?!? Crazy I tell ya. Chin up, lady. Don't let this get you down!

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  7. Such good honesty. I hope all goes well especially after reading number 4. Thinking of you. Stay safe!

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  8. This is my first time visiting your blog, and I just have to say wow.. This is a very personal post, and I have to congratulate you on being able to open up like that : ) Sending well wishes your way!

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  9. Found you from Adventures of Newlyweds! As soon as I saw you were a nursing student, I was intrigued! I am too! I start in the fall and am SO nervous. I hear it's really hard. But anyways, I am inspired by how honest you are on your blog. I can relate with #3... when I was transitioning from 8th to 9th grade I also struggled with an eating disorder. It is so tough and I really don't think people understand the full effect it has on you. I am still suffering from it now because my eating habits are all screwed up. I'm working on trying to get a balanced diet! But i'm officially sucked in. Newest follower! :)

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Have a charming day ;)
xo, amy