JUST SAY NO
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Just say no to drugs and stay in school, kids.
Okay, I'm kidding this post isn't about that.
I'm talking about how sometimes being selfish isn't being selfish at all: it's being self-aware, cognizant, and therefore selfless because if you spread yourself too thin, then you're not able to give 100% anywhere -- and not only is that not fair to others, it's certainly not fair for you.
I assume that you've worked hard in your life at some point or another to get to where you are today.
Before I was in nursing school, I was being all dorky in college because I was on the fast track to graduating top of my class in history for a Bachelors and then Masters. I was in the Honors Program and was that student that was drooling over the opportunity to write my own 50+ page thesis on a topic of my choice ( oh and I still am -- haven't figure out how with nursing, though! )
Because of that, I was elected to become President of the History Honors Society, Phi Alpha Theta. Then, on a whim, I changed my major to nursing and had to start all over again. But, I still lead Phi Alpha Theta because I enjoyed it. So, I was a President in one society, a member in four others, volunteering at the American Cancer Society, always going to school year round, studying for nursing school, started nursing school, started clinical rotations of 180 hours a semester, got engaged and planned a wedding, all while having dreams to still write a book, get a minor, build a photography business on the side, and somehow march on to get my masters in nursing. Whew. Of course, I didn't do so hot after awhile. I had to prioritize and take things off my plate.
No matter your situation. It's just so important that you know what you can and can not realistically do. I got to the point where I no longer even notice that I'm stressed. Other people have to tell me to breathe and relax! I wore myself out, spread myself thin, and first the first time in my life did very poorly in a lot of aspects. Maybe that's what caused all my health problems at the end of 2011? Regardless, I've definitely learned how to just say no. I hate it because I miss out on planning things or doing things that sound like so much fun (I had to turn down a wedding photography job for an old friend because I just can't realistically do it), but my priorities right now are not failing out of nursing school, getting enough sleep, and spending time with my family. If I have time for planning an event, doing a photography job, going away to Oktoberfest with friends, etc, then I certainly will. But I really do need to plan for it, be realistic, and makes sure I get some me time as well.
Challenge
My challenge for you is to look at what's on your plate right now and see if there is something that you are doing that is a little more taxing for you and your schedule.
Is it something that you absolutely have to do? Or is it something that can be passed on so that you can focus on giving yourself and your other commitments the quality time they need?
Is it something that you absolutely have to do? Or is it something that can be passed on so that you can focus on giving yourself and your other commitments the quality time they need?
If someone has something they need help with and you know you already have a lot going on, just say no! It really hurts me when I know that I am letting someone else down, that alone is unnecessary joo joo, much less having the added stress of completing all kinds of extra tasks.
I see what you mean here. I've definitely said no waaay too many times to spend time with myself. I'd rather cook at home that prepare for an hour, drive 30 minutes to a place to meet up with someone, spend 2 hours sitting uncomfortably in a restaurant chair and drive back home tired. This may sound selfish but I love myself and my sanity. ;)
ReplyDeletexo,
janmloves.blogspot.com
Haha, you and me sound similar, girl! I am such a little homebody. Especially with a busy schedule. I have no idea how people work all day and play all night and all weekend. My sister in law and her fiancé are like that. I don't know how they do it! And I'm younger than them! Haha, but I think you and I are better off as far as emotional drama and sanity ;-)
DeleteLove that you shared this. I feel like there is so much pressure on women lately to "do it all" of course we have brought it on our selves but that's a whole blog post in and of itself. I've been thinking many of these things lately as well and talking a lot with hubby. Praying God will guide you and heal your health!
ReplyDeleteAwh, thanks! When I learned I needed to start prioritizing my life and such, I definitely had a lot of talks with husband about it. I value his opinion so much, just like I'm sure you do yours. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to bounce ideas off and tell you your not crazy, after all -- or if you are crazy, at least it's not a bad thing ;-) Good luck finding balance =)
Deletethank you for the reminder! i definitely feel that way right now... so much to do, so little time... :P
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. There are days I wonder how I can just squeeze in that extra hour. But the more I have on my plate, the more I notice I tire easy -- at least now. Before it would motivate me to keep going, going, going. But the only batteries we run on is sleep and health!
Deletethis is so important to remember - we can't always do everything and sometimes saying no really is the best thing to do. thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletei just found your blog from the GFC hop and i'm excited to be your newest follower :)
love,
elisabeth
ps. i'd love for you to drop by and follow back if you get a chance!
Such good advice! As someone who has a difficult time saying no, I totally get it. It can often feel like you're letting someone down! But it's also a freeing thing to be able to say "I'm sorry, but I just can't add another thing to my plate."
ReplyDeleteQuite the inspiration! I am following your blog from the GFC Hop and would love to be friends to please stop by my blog and follow back :).
ReplyDeleteNice to meet ya girly!!
xox
Ash@ABpetite
http://abpetite.blogspot.com/
You're so right, Amy! I've learned this in the last few years, too - sometimes you just need to say no. Making time for what's important to you should me #1. People will love you even if you sometimes can't join them.
ReplyDelete